When people are in their 20s they think they are going to conquer the world, but then the reality strikes and one gets to know that the life is not as easy as it look in the biographies of famous people.
No one exactly know what is the right path to success.
We find one path and we keep chasing one that path till we find it is not working and then change it to another.
Before we know it is too late and we end up knowing that we have lost our age and youth and now it is not possible to do things which once looked possible during the youth.
But why do most people fail and realize that in their 40s that they have failed.
Is it because there is some success mantra which is known to only few people, or whether it is just pure luck or is it because there are powers in the government which let only a few succeed while keeping rest of them poor.
If you are in your 40s and still figuring out what is the right path, then here are few suggestions for you –
1. You are doing way too many things in your 40s.
First thing you will notice about your daily life is that you doing way too many things in life and planning to do them all in very little time.
Sit back for a while and make a list of the things you want to really do in life. Don’t restrict yourself. Just keep writing.
May be you are over-ambitious. This list is the best way to figure out whether you are over ambitious or not.
Now read the list as many times as possible.
If the list is too long like 200 or more pointers, then let it be because the longer it will be, the better.
Now start cutting things down which you want to do to show off to other people and not actually like doing it.
Like so many people want to learn guitar when they actually have no interest in music. They just want to do it to impress other people.
Cut those things down.
Keep cutting things down based on the importance and whether you want to do them or not.
Keep one thought in mind – if there is one thing you were asked to do your entire life what would that be?
Cut the list down to 10 things. Then observe it more clearly. Be ruthless and then cut 5 more things from the list.
Now out of those five goals, mark one goal that you think you would do for the rest of your life even when you don’t get paid.
That is the thing which should be on top of your priority list. Make sure to do it first thing in your morning and make a discipline to never stop doing it.
Start working on it right now.
2. You still haven’t found one thing you are truly good at your 40s.
I once read in some book that most startups in the world actually promote failure.
Phrases like “failure is the key to success”, “the more you fail, the more ways you know how to succeed” are actually just to lift moods but don’t actually help.
I am not saying that failures are not necessary. Failures are necessary because it means you were making an effort.
But when you are in your 40s, make sure that you have gone through enough failures to realize what makes a person success.
There are definitely some things which you have done in your past in which you had some kind of success.
Make lists of those things and out of those things find the one which you enjoyed doing the most.
In my case it was writing and I loved writing. Consciously or subconsciously I was always writing though my school, college and professional life.
I loved writing anything. Although I never published much but I loved writing.
It was only very late I realized that most of my success was because of my writing skills. On top of that I enjoyed the process of writing.
So I started doing more of that.
Look back and retrospect what is that one thing you truly love doing and start doing more of it. Practice, practice and practice and you will soon become master of it.
3. You think too much of past. Stop it, you are 40 anyways.
One of the biggest asset of human minds is memory and if not used wisely it is also the source of biggest misery.
There are people who think and then there are people who OVER think.
Over thinking is a tendency that grows with age, because as with age, the information in the mind and memory increases too.
Your mind will think more in your 40s.
To stop over thinking, you have to stop thinking of the past. I know it sounds easy to suggest than to practice. Well I have solutions too.
Meditation is a widespread phenomenon now.
Don’t look here and there for Meditation techniques, as everything you ever wanted to know about meditation is contained in one book called Patanjali- the yoga sutras. Read Swami Vivekananda’s version of it and your life will be sorted.
Buy Swami Vivekananda’s version here :
The psychological reason you think too much about the past is also because you are hopeless about your future.
You don’t have to force yourself to think about the future, just write down ten things you want to achieve in next five years and focus on that.
That will eradicate every past memory of yours.
The human mind has a limitation where it can only think of only one thing at a time.
We think that we think several concurrent thoughts at the same time because the frequency of thoughts in human mind is very high.
Use that limitation in your favor and keep your thoughts at one place. When meditating think of only one thing for a long period of time.
Don’t think you have lost too much in your life and can achieve nothing as you are in your 40s. There are numerous people who have actually begin living life after they turned 40.
Here is the list of five people who achieve success late in their 40s.
Vera Wang before to achieving fame as a distinguished fashion designer, pursued careers as a figure skater and journalist. At the age of 40, she embarked on a career in the fashion industry as a designer by creating her own wedding dress.
Samuel L. Jackson, while having pursued acting for a considerable period, did not attain widespread recognition until the age of 43, when he gained prominence for his breakthrough performance in the film “Jungle Fever” in 1991.
Colonel Harland Sanders, the originator of Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), commenced the process of franchising his restaurant idea at the ripe age of 62, subsequent to managing a service station and preparing meals for passengers.
Laura Ingalls Wilder gained her greatest recognition through her renowned literary work, the “Little House on the Prairie” series. However, it is worth noting that Wilder did not release her initial novel until she reached the age of 65.
Ray Kroc, at the age of 52, became a part of McDonald’s and successfully turned it into the foremost fast-food franchise globally, showcasing his entrepreneurial prowess in his later years.
Being again but this time be more focused and future oriented.
4. You are still looking for shortcuts
One trait which as marred more dreams than anything else is finding shortcuts in life.
Most people want to achieve more in one lifetime than anyone else. They want to get successful early and get rich superfast.
The media doesn’t help either. Several magazines keep publishing list of people who have been early success and celebrate the success of over achievers in young age.
Those articles increase the anxiety of people and they start questioning their own skills.
Most people who achieve early success are usually because of their family lineage or because of sheer luck.
You have no control over both things. If you were in the same position, you would have achieved those things very early as well.
Stop looking for shortcuts because there isn’t one. Instead of wasting time in finding shortcuts to get immediate success, start working on honing your craft and skills.
The more you work on your skills the faster your success will be. But it won’t happen in a day. It will take its due course of time.
You cannot plant a seed in the ground and expect it to grow over night. No matter how much water or fertilizer you put, the seed will take its own time to grow.
You can enhance the process by putting the right manure and watering it daily but it will take it due course of time.
Learn from nature. Keep patience and keep working and never look for shortcuts.
5. You don’t have patience in your 40s.
Most people don’t have patience. As I have mentioned in my last point, due to lack of patience they keep looking for shortcuts.
The market is full of self-proclaimed fake gurus who will keep telling you the secrets of success. Only few of them truly know what it takes to become success.
They have earned money with your insecurities and lack of patience.
Have the patience to stick with one task for a longer period of time and keep doing it for a long time.
Don’t look here and there what others are doing or it will create anxiety.
Several times it would occur to you that what you are doing won’t give you the results you are seeking.
One day you will read about someone becoming billionaire by coding and you will start coding.
Next day you will hear that someone became rich overnight by investing in stocks and you will start to learn about stocks.
That way you will never be able to learn anything about stocks or coding either.
Pick one thing and stick to it.
People who get rich are masters of their domain irrespective of the field they are in.
6. You listen to others in your 40s as well.
I love Carl Newport because he introduced me to Social media detox where you don’t use social media for getting your information.
Social media is full of fake information and 99% of what we read on internet is either of no use to us or is fake.
Fake success stories. Hyped rages to riches. Made up get rich schemes. All these things gives us anxiety.
Social media also gives us a feeling that we are lagging behind just because we don’t know what is happening in this world.
We want to know everything because we think just by knowing and pretending that we know we can prove to others how intelligent we are.
People are seldom impressed with other people who know too much about everything.
I was surprised to see the interviews of Cillian Murphy who has no idea what is happening in the world or on internet and he is a class actor who just won an Oscar.
You just have to know about your own field to excel in life.
Everything you read on social media will change tomorrow.
The one who is superstar today will be villain for everyone tomorrow.
That is how it works.
Social media thrives on news and once the news becomes boring they change it. There is no real substance in social media.
Apart from social media there will also be people in your life who will tell you why you can or cannot do something.
Do not waste a single moment of your life thinking that you cannot live your life without friends and immediately remove them from your life who pester negative thoughts in your ear.
Removing the negative people from your life mercilessly is the best thing you can do for yourself.
You don’t need too many people around you in your 40s anyway.
Don’t listen to anyone. There is no right or wrong thing in this world. There is only legal and illegal things. Don’t do any illegal things and you will be fine by whatever you are doing.
7. You are searching for the right path in your 40s.
Taking again from the last point, there is no right or wrong path in life. There is only path and whichever path you chose, just keep walking on it and keep walking till you find the zenith.
I love the line from the Poem “Madhushala” of Harivansh Rai Bachchan which is –
Which literally means that you pick one path and keep walking on it and you will find your true destination.
Most people are confused about the right path because they are afraid of finding failure at the end of it.
There is no path in this world which ends up in failure. Every path leads to success. Some path can be longer while some path can be shorter but in the end every path always leads to success.
So stop thinking too much about the validity of your choice of path.
Stop seeking some guru or astrological sign to find what would be your right path.
Keep walking on whatever path you are walking.
If it is the right path you will keep on walking and if it is not the right path then you will automatically will be diverted by your destiny.
Sometimes it is better to leave everything in the hands of destiny and keep working on what is in your hand.
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These are my 7 findings and observations for people who are in their 40s and are still confused about where to go and how to find the right path.
I hope these pointers helped you get back on your feet in your 40s and in case they helped you then please let me know in the comment section whether you liked them or not.
